Another new song. I thought I’d finally do some non-whispered vocals, but even this is pretty much whispered. Maybe one day =P

Also, liking this link here = one entry to win a copy of my latest release, “Clair Obscur.”: https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=554606944582207&id=188560757853496

Thank you, that’s so sweet! I’m very happy to hear that =)

I’m very excited that this is finally coming out! The packaging looks phenomenal thanks to Time Released Sound and Mat Guerin. Everything was done by hand and with love, and all the inserts have been marked with my fingerprints. So cool! Was definitely a blast collaborating with TRS. 

Orders for Clair Obscur open on Sunday ^_^
Had a long night of signing and inking

This song is from my latest EP. 

I wasn’t sure when this move was gonna hit me: the night before or maybe a week or so in. Well, it’s the night before and I would say that being hit is a pretty accurate description of what is happening right now. 

Such a confusing cocktail of feelings to try and sort out. Most likely not going to sleep at all tonight since I’ll be too busy crying and analyzing my life and choices.

The worst part is going to be not seeing my friends as often. It’s the first time in my life I’ve felt like I’ve had a normal/fulfilling social life. It’s so nice to relate to people. 

I mean for a while there I could barely get out of bed or leave the house or eat or not drown myself in an ocean of damaging thoughts. Friendship is a helluva drug though, because I got out of bed, and then I got out of my house, and I started making music regularly again, and I started to figure out how to like myself. 

If I didn’t embarrass so easily I would tell my friends personally, but I mean this is close enough, right? I’m truly grateful to be surrounded by these magical spirits who inspire me not just artistically but as people.  It’s really a privilege to experience their art and peek at their processes. It’s one thing to be naked like nude, but it’s another kind of vulnerability to start to be able to be naked like open with people. To appreciate and be appreciated, to encourage and be encouraged. I’ll be lucky if I can meet friends who are half as cool and understanding and inspiring as these on my next adventure. 

But now it’s time for me to ride off into the sunset with my boyfriend, who is probably my most enthusiastic cheerleader and has been amazing throughout my journey away from fear and self-defeat. 

All my love to the diamonds in the rough in my life, you are all golden people xoxoxox <3 don’tyouforgetaboutme

This is a song I made inspired by the film Kokuhaku. 

afilmthatdoesntexist:

hello. today, i’ve released a new album called outsider. you can get it for free/pay what you want over at bandcamp or stream it on soundcloud. this album (except for halls of science) was made since i’ve moved from Lille to Montréal. coincidentally, it is much more upbeat and light hearted than my previous releases, a bit more eclectic and weird too. hope you enjoy. 

johnny_ripper has a new album today. johnny_ripper is either mad or a genius or both. It’s kind of weird being a big “fan” of someone while also being their irl friend but unabashed enthusiasm is just how I roll. This album is seriously magical and I hope you have the time to listen to it. 

artparasite:

Satangelica

Here’s a remix of my song “You Used to Look Happy” done by Velveteen Vaccine. It got glitched out! 

You can hear more of his work here: https://soundcloud.com/velveteenvaccine

My wardrobe is kinda like if Baby Spice dressed the same, just without any colours. 

Still impatient. And they’re touring again this year, finally. 

As my moving day approaches, I’m starting to reflect more on all the nuanced new puzzles I will be confronted with. I know it should be obvious, but I’m realizing now more than ever that I need to change the kinds of thoughts I have about myself if I’m ever going to get a job I love, improve my art, and be happy and healthy. 

It’s easy for me to sabotage myself, because it means I only have myself to blame, and I can avoid the pain and embarrassment of failure. I fear searching for or accepting opportunities on my path because I’m scared I’ll find out that I’m actually no good and have just been getting by on good luck. I need to tell myself that I would not have gotten this far or been offered these opportunities if I didn’t have the knowledge, the skill, the talent. I hold myself back because I fear coming off as though I take myself too seriously. “I can’t” is a killer thought. Or rather a thought killer. 

I remember in grade school we were given these daily “journal assignments.” We were given a topic about which to write in our personal journals, which would then be read by the teacher so that any troubling statements or ideas could be relayed to the school counsellor and our parents. I should have known better, since my mother had a habit of reading the private diaries I kept hidden throughout my room. I should have even known better after the first time one of my journal assignments warranted a meeting with the counsellor and my parents, but I mean, I was 8. 

Anyways, one of these assignments was that we had to write about which kind of weather reflected our personality the most, and why. I knew what they wanted. I was 8 but I wasn’t stupid. We were supposed to compare ourselves to a summer’s day. Birds singing and flowers. But I made an absolute scene at home because I didn’t want to do the assignment because it was dumb. I mean how could I be like weather? My mother told me that if I wanted to say that I was like a rainy day, that I could. But I mean rain is precipitation and I’m a human being! She eventually gave up and called my grandmother because she thought that what I needed was a pep-talk. But by this time I was frustrated. 

My grandmother asked me, “When you look in the mirror, what do you see?” and I yelled, “NOTHING!” and passed the phone back to my mother then went in my room to cry because I was exhausted from trying to make them understand. This basically describes the rest of my academic career, my relationship with my mother, and my life in general. 

Just today I was asked to submit a biography for some website that wants to feature me and the old familiar frustration and annoyance began to boil up. Maybe one of my goals for 2013 should be to take a little pride in myself and what I do. A little self-love. A new chapter is beginning right now. 

This is a little different from my usual stuff. I made it with Theo Radomski  aka Flannelogue who is basically the older brother I never had. It’s always fun to make music with him because there is absolutely no pressure, but lots of laughs. 

When it’s just me I sometimes feel like I have to sound a certain way or meet a certain standard, or top my previous work in some way. It’s nice to just make something because I like the sounds and it doesn’t have to be fancy, and we both just like it, just because. 

See Theo: www.hastilyputtogether.com
Hear Theo: https://soundcloud.com/flannelogue